May 22, 2006

Good thing I went to work today

Well today kinda started off slow for me. Had work this mornin but i didn't get in until late. Try 10:15AM late when I'm normally suppose to be there by 7AM. Oh well, I did call a co-worker's extension but just got her voicemail and left a message. by the time I get to work, I found out not only is she not there, but at least 5 other coworkers called off as well. Yea.... So needless to say I get to work and i'm doing callbacks on the work that is there.

So pretty much my day was just boring as hell, not to mention I did get in 2 good naps on my breaks. I kept myself awake by listening to my music and jammin. Since I had my workout clothes with me, I decided I would just go play some racquetball right after work. Before going to play, I went to the St. Louis Mills Mall to go get a book. While there Kamina calls me and asked if I wanted to go play tennis. I told her that I had planned on play racquetball but since I had both my tennis and racquetball equipment it didn't matter.

So i proceed to go to Barnes Hospital where I normally go workout. I played for about 30 minutes and knocked myself silly with the damn ball. I tried to do a shot from the back wall and it hit me square in my right cheek on my face then less than 5 minutes later I did a back hand move with the racquet and knocked the crap out of my left ear. So I felt it was time to call a timeout at this point. Then call Kamina because she hadn't arrived yet. she was in the mist of doing some laundry and told me she would be up in the next 10 minutes.

She gets up to the courts and we proceed to play tennis for a while. My right knee is still bothering me from the accident I had on Friday when I played racquetball then. So we decided to end a tad bit early. We parted ways and I went home. I had my dinner and now I am in my room sitting on my bed just relaxin.

Earlier today while i worked and while I napped, i wondered about myself and had tempting thoughts about "the who shall not be named" lol. I wondered what in the hell is wrong with me and why am having these feelings about him. Point blank I need to keep them in check. I don't need these thoughts running rampet in my head. Maybe I'm just thinking in terms of being horny. Maybe I'm thinking of terms of my feelings that I've kept dormant and locked up all these years. I haven't had an issue with keeping them at bay because I've always had my hatred and my anger as my armour. Why in the hell are they flaring up now??? Maybe it was easier to not think about him because he was so far away and in another state. He even has a beautiful lil girl from what I hear. Now he lives here and the distance has closed considerably. But thru divine intervention I have yet to lay my own eyes upon him. I don't know what to think these days.

I'm so damn confused. Yet I just deal with it like I do anything else. I take it day by day and I don't force my hand on it. i sure as hell don't plan on tippin the scales. I'll just deal with it like I've dealt with it the past 5 years.

oh well change of subject, my friend Carlos, his birthday is tomorrow. Yet he's out of town. So I'll have to call him and wish him happy birthday. He gets back in on Friday, I have a hair appointment around 5pm so if I get out on time, I might treat him to a movie or not. He's been acting kind of a smart ass but that is how he NORMALLY acts. I must say the brutha can be witty when he wants but he is huggable like a teddy bear. He's a great friend what can I say. lolol Oh well, here is a early shout out

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