December 21, 2010
December 20, 2010
December 12, 2010
So If you need an alternative to taking your cpu someplace and getting it fixed...hit up my homeboy he is a genius!!! Oh and thanx cuz for jinxin me!! Trenton has a website http://thecomputercaretaker.com/
October 15, 2010
Last night I had an interesting dream. I was on an island, the moon was high in the air with the stars. The water was so clear and I was on the sand watching the waves just rolling softly to my feet. I was in a soft white linen skirt with a matching top and I my hair was lose and the wind was just dancing around me. I start to enjoy a stroll on the sand and I see a stranger sitting on a large rock...
I walk up to the rock and just stare at the person trying to get a good look at them. I can't make out there face its just so damn hazy. I shrug my shoulders and decide to move on. Then all of a sudden the person starts to talk. I know its female because of her voice. She asks me, "Are you happy?" I don't answer I just keep staring at her. She asks the question again, and I respond, "Why do you want to know?"
She shrugs her shoulders and states that she's curious. I don't respond immediately, I sit down in the sand in front of the rock and state that there are somethings I'm happier about this year than I was last year but not everything is where I would like it to be. She replies, " If you want things to change for you, you have to change the situation around you." I listen to what she is saying and think about it trying to figure out how to apply it to myself. She then continues, "Trust is a commodity that can not be bought or bartered, you need to figure out for yourself who is on that list and who is not."
I respond, "I do know how to trust." The stranger replies, "Yet do you know how to forgive?" I remain quiet then I responded, "Out of sight out of mind." The stranger shakes her head from side to side and says, "Think on what I am saying"
She slides off her rock and sits directly in front of me, her face clears up and I finally see the person that I was talking to was...myself. Her outfit is directly the opposite of mine. While mine is the color of the moon, her outfit is the color of the midnight sky. She holds her hands out to me, and I just stare at her. I'm not sure to what to make of this gesture nor am I sure I trust it. I slowly get up and walk backwards away from her and her outstretched hands. She looks at me, nods and smiles and says, "Some people are with you for a lifetime, others for a moment, be sure keep those friendships that mean the most and don't hesitate to make new ones." She then vanishes along with the rock she was perched on.
I then turn back to the ocean and sit down and stretch out on the sand looking at the moon, twinkling stars, and the midnight sky. In the distance I can hear an annoying beeping sound, trying to figure out what the hell is trying to interrupt my peaceful paradise. I slowly start to lose focus and within a few minutes I open my eyes and I'm back in my room with a blaring alarm clock going off in my room. I sit up on my bed and reached for my laptop and decided I want remember this dream and decided to blog it. Dont get me wrong I normally do have weird ass dreams but this one was definitely a notch on the bedpost.
October 13, 2010
September 24, 2010
September 2, 2010
August 28, 2010
Lightweight and comfortable on and off the bike, the Shimano MO76 MTB bike shoes ease new riders into cycling with versatility for commuting and recreational use.
Great shoe for the recreational cyclist
Sizing: Feels half size too small
Width: Feels true to width
Pros: Durable Sole, Easy to use
Cons: Uncomfortable SOMETIMES
Best Uses: Cycling
Describe Yourself: Casual/ Recreational
Was this a gift?: No
I've been cycling for about 4 months now and I must say I've found it to be quite addictive. Well I had lunch with a best friend of mine and she cycles as well and informed me that she had bought some cycling shoes and told me how much of a difference she feels when she uses her shoes. So I went to my neighborhood R.E.I store after doing some web research and found myself interested originally in the Shimano RO76. The sales lady informed me that since I was taking a cycling class that the RO76's probably wouldn't be the best ones since they have a slick bottom and I could possibly slip. So she recommended the mountain version, the MO76, exact same feel just a tread bottom so I can walk with the shoes.
I tried them on and they felt perfect I would recommend for those interested get a size up. I normally wear a size 10 in womens, which is a European 41, I had to get a 42 to give myself some comfortable room and that is even with cycling socks on.
Only gripe I would have is that after cycling for about 30-40 mins at the tip of the shoe, your big toes might become a bit sore. I've heard this from other cyclists as well who wear cycling shoes in general not just with this particular model.
August 17, 2010
At this time I also can't help but be pissed off everyday when I think of our situation with the district and how it was handled by DESE. It seems we were doomed from the get-go when school re-opened back in August '09. Apparently that summer, DESE had decided mainly with their newly appointed Commissioner of Education Chris L. Nicastro that Wellston would be shutdown. Unfortunately the memo wasn't passed down to the Wellston employees until December, when in fact we should have been told back in August when we had our 2 day workshop at Washington University.
We had a feeling something was going on because normally DESE reps would come to the school in the winter months to see how things were progressing, they didn't last year. Then we started to hear rumors that the school district was possibly going to be shutting down. Staff even asked the Superintendent if that was the case and he lied to them and told them it wasn't the case. Yet more tale telling signs were pointing more and more in the opposite direction.
In all this drama, the biggest sign to me was the lack of supplies for the 09-10 school year. I didn't receive not a lick of supplies unless it was paper. I didn't understand how the main office thought we were suppose to just make due with our heads barely above water. I felt bad for my teachers and rest of staff when I had to let them know that I couldn't even provide them with basic supplies and they had to end up coming out of their own pockets to provide for their classrooms and students.
Then in December we have "the meeting" at the Normandy middle school off of Natural Bridge. Commissioner of Education Chris L. Nicastro is their on the stage along with some other members of DESE, the reason I can remember her is the Bright Blueberry suit she wore that was hurting my eyes and I was sitting in the back of the area listening to the B.S. that was going down.
The main auditorium area where we had the meeting was packed. Parents, Staff, and students from both school districts were there. The Wellston crew knew something was up when we found out how the so called farce of a "forum" was run. They passed out pencils and pieces of paper for you to write 3 questions down. WTF? Normal forums have a microphone for people to form a line and ask questions. Apparently the other school district knew to plan appropriately to control the event. So Nicastro informs us that she has recommended to the DESE board that Wellston School district to be shut down and "merged" with Normandy. Which in all honesty is a joke, its not a merger its a takeover. When Normandy's Supt was talking about the "new" experiences the Wellston students would enjoy at Normandy with the new facilities (weight room, track and field, and other renovations) the Wellston staff and parents were wondering what does any of this have to do with bringing up test scores?
Nicastro barely answered any of the questions that some of the Wellston area had written down, and when others asked about their questions she dismissed them and stated they would be answered in the future. One of the more important questions that was asked, yet poorly answered was, Why you would put our district with another that is not accredited? Her response is that they are partially accredited, we are thinking to ourselves that means nothing, Wellston was partially accredited as well and look at what is happening to us. Finally one of our staff stood up and exploded about how this situation was handled. I along with others applauded. Out of all this mess we felt we had been disrespected not only by our Supt by not being up front and truthful but also by DESE for their lack of respect for us.
After the meeting I went home and just thought about how much politics plays in education. Never saw it before until that night. I thought I was disgusted that night, the following months after provided just as much drama. We found out that our health coverage would end effectively by end of June instead of July or August. We had heard rumors through the grapevine that apparently Nicastro had informed school districts not to hire any Wellston employees. Again I'm not sure if its true or not but given how she handled the meeting that December I wouldn't put it past her.
Another problem I have is that technically Wellston was given 2 more years to show improvement, to me if DESE felt there were problems at the district then they should have replaced the present Supt with another that they felt would get the job done. She could have done that but from what I've heard supposedly she had an axe to grind with the Supt and decided to do away with him and the district at the same time. To me if that is the truth, then she is no better than the people she is supposedly trying to get rid of.
Yet the icing on the cake as far as irony goes is back in May when I found out on the radio that Normandy School district had fired all their staff, I was like wow, at least we found out back in December when some of Normandy staff were clapping and applauding the "merger", I just thought to myself, karma is a bitch n a half. There is no loyalty at all.
After dealing with this situation, I realized that I would not want be an educator at least in the sense of teaching at a school. Times are different from when my mom used to teach versus now. Back then your occupation was more stable and guaranteed. These days you hear not only here but nationwide the school districts that are closing and staff that are losing their jobs.
I guess the main point I want to convey is that people might look at Wellston and say the staff and parents failed those kids. To some degree I will say that there were certain staff that shouldn't have been retained or for that much even hired and it would have helped to have more parent participation yet some parents acted like kidds they damn selves.
Yet the main point is that DESE failed us. They didn't have the backbone to step in and intervene in the situation instead they stayed on the sidelines and pointed fingers and just WAITED for the district to fully corrode itself from the inside without any chance. If this is the kind of leadership that is the head of DESE then unfortunately I have a feeling that Wellston won't be the only school district to close in the coming years. To me DESE not only stands for the title of this blog but also (D)oesn't (E)ncourage (S)uccess (E)nough.
My question to DESE is this. If you couldn't deal with a district the size of Wellston, regardless of the issues, what in the hell makes you think that you are qualified and up to the job to deal with school districts the size of Normandy, Riverview Gardens, and Saint Louis Public Schools?
Even at the end of this crazy & drama filled road, I'll say I will miss my students, staff and parents. Maybe not ALL of them, yet you know who you are. The experiences I have learned I will keep with me forever;)
June 19, 2010
May 14, 2010
May 13, 2010
2. “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”
3. “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”
Eleanor Roosevelt quotes
As I sit up in bed I think about my day today. Currently I'm listening to Joe Sample's "Living in the Blue", a smooth mellow Jazz piece that would put any person's mind at peace. Today I woke up to thunderstorm clouds moving across the skies. They had yet to release their frustrations onto the rooftops of the houses in my neighborhood. My father needed to drop off one of our cars up at the shop so I tailed him and brought him back home.
I came back home and got dressed, made my morning low carb drink, packed up my laptop and made it to work. Just made it in time before the rains finally started to making their debut for the day. While there today, I'm on the web lookin at the different job internet sites. I've looked at so many it seems as though they are blending in together. About noon I take a lunch and leave the school, thinking about the last few weeks I have at the high school. I get back to the school at chill out in the staff lounge. Speaking with coworkers until the 2:30 pm bell rings.
After work I go up to UMSL and drop off some financial aid forms. As I'm walkin through the Millennium Center, I see a young lady with her cap and gown smiling wildly and running for the doors. I pause and look her and wonder honestly if I will ever witness something like that for myself. I shake off my doubt head to the top level via escalator, drop off my forms and then make my way home.
At home, I relax before I go to my zumba and boxing classes. When the time arrives I go to my zumba class, excited and ready to put in some work. Then I dash off to boxing classes and I let a rip into the trainer and his punching gear, just replayin my day and all the doubts that have started to creep up on me. With every punch I feel it startin to recede and by the time I'm done, I can literally feel my fears being release through the torrential sweat that is coming off my body and being wiped away by my shirt and boxing gloves. I'm tired yet I feel great.
I finish off the evening by going to Schnucks, off of Olive near the Delmar Loop and pick up some items for my mom and then bring them home. I'm praying for some more rain. You'd be amazed how much one can find reflection in mother nature.
While watching a movie on tv this evening, somebody had said quote 1 at the beginning of my blog. I looked it up and saw that Eleanor Roosevelt was the originator. I thought about if for a few minutes and thought it is true. Nobody can make you feel the way you do without you granting permission.
So after I googled the 1st quote, I saw that she had some other quotes that caught my eye, hence quotes 2 and 3. I thought of quote 2 and thought, damn this is somethin else. It's nice to have intellectual convo's with people. Yet you will run into people who wanna put your name in the gutter. Especially people who say they know you when in truth they don't know the real deal. Reality is a bitch somedays. Quote 3, now there is an eye opener. It states its okay to be who you are, even if you are weird and unique as I am. Some people get me and understand how I am. Others have tried and failed. I'm not changing to kiss anyone's ass, so if you don't like what you see, then simply be gone and take your sensitive ass someplace and ponder under a big ass tree until lightening strikes that bitch down.
Life is not a box of chocolates, if that was the case I would be eating coconut clusters out the ass and be happy as hell. Life is about ups and downs and Lord knows I have had my share of them, I've learned from MOST of them. But what I will no longer deal with are OTHER'S people's ups and downs and then try to blame their issues on me. I've had to come to terms about myself and I'm trying to fix the issues as they come along. If you feel I'm a downer to your life, then keep my name out of your life via mind and sound. I guarantee you it has worked for me.
Wow....I guess that boxing today did alot more than just give me a physical workout today.
May 10, 2010
March 20, 2010
If you have someone in your life that doesn't appreciate you and only wants to be around you when it's most convenient for them or on your dime, it's time to clean house. You can only deal with so many broken promises and dreams, sooner or later you have to face reality.
March 11, 2010
February 21, 2010
On Saturday I woke up early to take my sis to the airport, but hell she still missed her flight. I went to the gym with my mom and did a bootcamp class, wasn't too much fun and afterwards went to the mall to go to Dick's sporting goods to pick up some heavier weights since the ones I have no longer area challenge to me. Then I walked the mall a few times since I hadn't been out at the Mid Rivers mall for a while. I then went to the Best Buy right next door and saw a few people that I recognized and had some good talks with them, also bought a game for my ps3, I REALLY need to get back into my gaming, then I went home to get dressed, I had been gone so long, I hadn't had time to relax before getting myself together to get with my girls, Amy and Hannah who I've known since Kindergarten, we met out in South County and had dinner and then went to a roller derby which is pretty damn cool.
We also have our own league here in St. Louis http://www.archrivalrollergirls.com , and they are going to soon start a men's league, I told my girls to let me know when they play next. This is definitely an interesting sport.
So today is Sunday and I've been at home just listening to the rain which I absolutely love, probably will chill indoors today, or I might try to go to the gym and workout but right now I'm just watchin some TELLY;)
Enjoy your day, I plan on enjoying mine.
February 3, 2010
I can't stand when something you are used to all the time just for no reason bails out on you, sounds like relationships. Anyway, for those who normally would see me on Skype, this is my farewell message, I'm not fucking with that garbage anymore, if you want to see and talk to me it will have to be through GoogleTalk, my username is MsJazz79.
January 29, 2010
I'm wondering do I still want to stay in the educational field being an administrative assistant because the hours go well with me working out and taking college courses. After work today I went up to UMSL to speak with my counselor because I think I have FINALLY decided on a major and possibly even a minor. So spoke with her for about 20 minutes and she helped me out to make sure if that is the field I want to go into. So I have further reading to do, to make sure it's the route i want to take.
So after that I went home and chilled out, then went to Best Buy to take in my laptop because the AC adapter that I received as a replacement, had fried on me, at least that's what I thought. I get to the store and the tech tries it out and what do you know....the sucker worked. Yet I also told him my battery wasn't holding a charge like it used to, so he put in an order request. Afterwards I went home and I've been chillin ever since.
This weekend I have my family's annual mardi gras party to look forward to. So I plan on enjoying on myself on Saturday, recouping on Sunday and back on my grind Monday.
Just an absent thought for those who watch cartoon network ADULT SWIM like myself, I wish they would take the music from the Adult swim commercials and put them on a cd, they sound interesting;)
January 3, 2010
I for one really want to get a handle on my weight. I was doing boxing and racquetball last year and loved it but had stopped because of an injury. Then once I was better I was too engrossed with other stuff to make it a priority. I'm 30 years old yet I feel so much older because of the weight on my frame.
Another goal of mine is to get back into college and REALLY finish up my degree. I've learned from being in my current job that it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life and further more you can never get comfortable with your current surroundings because you alway risk having the rug pulled out from under you. Also it made me appreciate why I need my education and to finish. I feel I am more focused than when I was fresh out of high school. I hated college because of my experiences in high school, I didn't know how to really interact with people especially guys. Now having worked at my present job, I can honestly say that I have obtained a backbone I have never had and quite frankly I have the students and parents of the community to thank for that. lol
Yet my biggest problem is that I'm still wondering what I want to do. So I plan on going to either UMSL (University of Missouri Saint Louis) or the Saint Louis Public Library downtown and taking an aptitude test, to see exactly what I'm good at doing. Another challenge will be trying to find scholarships, not trying to do the loan thing. Yet I really can't see about that until I do my income taxes in February.
Also have to start job hunting to see what's out there. Since where I currently work all employees will lose their jobs on June 30th, 2010. I will definitely try to find a job that works 7:15 am to 3:15 pm, those hours I know will benefit me with school and working out. It's not like retail where I didn't know what my schedule was and it was never consistent.
I also plan on writing more often in my blog. I used to be really on top of this but have let it slip to the sidelines. So here is my first post of the new year. I wish you all well and take care;)