I may not be Barbara Walters, but this is 2020

It's the middle of January for the most part. I was originally going to write something on January 1st but.....eh..I'll be honest my mind has been in the biggest fog in a way since November. 2019 was challenging overall but losing one of my best friends really took the wind out of may sails for the rest of the year. Not gonna lie, it has been debilitating to a certain extent.

A night with my girls - Kamina & Danielle



Self pic this morning (9/23) from sis's laptop

(9/22) Yesterday I had a really great morning with working out doing boxing and kickboxing. Once I got home I chilled out for a few hours than deep conditioned my hair. Before leaving my house to make my way out to St. Charles to check on my sister psychotic dog, I made plans with my girl Danielle to pick her up nearby and then she called one of our best friends, Kamina to see where she was so we could hook up with her and go out and have dinner.

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!!

Alright people I'm back from Florida, with a smile on my face, a bit of a tan, and a twinkle in my eye. This morning, I woke up around 7am and slowly sat up in the room I was staying in. I had already packed my clothes the previous night and only had out the items I would be wearing on the plane.

I took a shower and was ready. Kai was up and James was also getting ready for work. I got Aislyn ready and we were out of the door. We dropped James off at work and I said my goodbyes to him and then we took Aislyn to her baby-sitter.

Kai and I went to this Beauty shop, ULTIMA a place that is almost the equivilent of SEPHORA which is nation wide. Yet this place had damn near all the high end hair products, some makeup lines (not as good as SEPHORA), and a full salon service. Pretty damn nice I must say. Then we made are way to ROSS (a different version of TJMAXX and MARSHALL). Then we made are way to LINEN'S and THINGS and checked on some items there.

My final stop was at the MALL OF MILLENIA. A high end mall that pretty much would put the SAINT LOUIS GALLERIA, PLAZA FRONTNAC, and WEST COUNTY MALL to SHAME. Pretty much just make them look like NorthWest Plaza. I went to a few shops and did some last minute shopping but I did make one splurge purchase, at the SUNGLASS HUT I bought a pair of VERSACE wrap around sunglasses. Please don't ask how much:)

After going through the mall we notice that a strong storm has hit and Kai gets me to the airport with about an hour to spare. I get my bags checked in and we give each other a hug goodbye. I watched her pull off and then made my way through the hustle and bustle of the airport crowd. My flight left on time despite the weather and I also was on a FULL FLIGHT. Had a lil boy sitting by me with his father who was holding a lil baby boy. Ask me if I got any peace and quiet?

Finally touched down in Saint Louis after 2 hours in the air, and surviving on complimentary peanuts, Air Crips, 2 cups of Sprite, a naughty book, and my PSP. I texted my friends that I had gotten back in town about 6:20pm and my mom picked me up. I'm back at the house now just listening to an old Whitney Houston tune called STEP BY STEP. And that's exactly what I plan on doing.

Again I want to thank my best friends aka my sisters for sending me on this wonderful trip and to Kai, James, and Aislyn, thank you for being such wonderful friends and hosts but most importantly for being such wonderful family. I needed some time to rejuvenate myself and I felt that being there really helped. Thank you all so much;)

My last full day in florida

Well all good things must come to an end and unfortunately my vacation in Florida is one of them. I woke up this morning about 7am and just sat up in my bed reflecting on my time here with Kai and her family. I've had nothing but a wonderful time. Kai and James left early this morning to run some errands and so I kept watch over Aislyn. I checked my MYSPACE account this morning and saw I had some new blog comments to a past blog that I wrote called CLOSURE (5/24/07).

Pretty much it was a response I like to call the L-L-L response. LATE-(read the post on time so you keep up to date), LAME-ASS-(full of sorry ass excuses), LOSER-(Accomplished a whole lot of NOTHING) response to the issue of the post. I wrote my respone, he wrote his response, and then I wrote my third response on the subject. In honesty I feel sorry for him he walks around as though the joke is always on somebody else when he fails to see that he's the sorry-ass punchline. Sometimes I wonder how in the world did I ever think he was special. Quite simply I pity him. The only other person I pity far more is his daughter. I pray she never meets a man the way her father treats people or more to the point the way his behavior was towards me. Yet having met his family, I know she'll be alright.

Beyond that mildly annoying situation. Aislyn slept till 10:30am but when she got up she was ready to roll! We kicked it until 1pm when her momma came in and we all just chilled out around the house until it was time to pick up daddy and we left the house around 5:15pm. We picked up James by 6pm and then went to Best Buy. We chilled out there for 2 hours and then went to a SuperWALMART. These things are HUGE!!!! We decided on Fried Chicken and french fries for the evening. So now I'm here just contemplating my last hours before my flight tomorrow evening. This place has been a blast.;)

UPDATE: About over an hour ago 10:00pm, Kai gave me a glass of wine and we went into the garage and had good talk. Let me refresh that....it was a great talk. We had one while in the car today and this one tonight we talked some more. I shed some seriously big tears and I felt better about some of the things we talked about. Afterwards we ate James's famous fried chicken and french fries. Right now we are watching a pre-recorded session of BIG BROTHER 8. So again I say goodnight and this time tomorrow I will be back in the good ole LOU;) ciou peeps. I holla

ANOTHER UPDATE: 11:55pm, On the phone with an ole elementary classmate, Amanda, she's in the hospital keeping herself stable because of some issues with her baby. She is in good spirits and her baby when she is born will be named Ava Lily;) I wish her and her family all the best;)

Still having a great vacation

Well you guys my vacation is slowly coming to an end but you know what? It has been absolutely fantastic. These past couple of days I've been able to go to different malls, go to a Martini club called the Blue Martini and the place was just packed with people. Had a great evening there talking with James, Kai and a few of their friends up until the point when we were about to leave and some asshole security guy tries to muscle Kai to giving our waitress a tip. Sad thing is she probably would have gotten one had the guy not been an ASSHOLE!!!! This of course happened Friday night. Oh and ya girl got seriously lit that night too. I had 2 sex on the beaches martinis and they were GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday we hit up a mall after going to the movie theater and not finding anything that interested us. I was able to find a TRADE SECRET and replenish my hair maintance products. We also hit up 2 different Best Buys in the area, they were pretty nice. Of course there has been rain on and off since I got here and I must say even that is better down here than in Saint Louis.

Today we went to Daytona Beach and for the first time I was able to see the ocean and actually put my feet in the sand. It was phucking amazing. Kai took some pictures of me as I was giggling like a lil nut. I had a wonderful time just running in the water raising my gouchos up to my thighs and seeing how far I could go without getting my pants wet. yea that was too far. I wish I could have stayed there forever not to mention there was this HEFTY chick in a Bikini. I thought damn if she can rock it why can't I? I'll tell you why, because I have god given sense that's the hell why. Big people and spandex don't mix unless it is interwoven into a pair of jeans.

After the frolicking in the beach we head on over to a lil shopping mart area and decide to have lunch at a place called get this...........Bubba Gump Shrimp Shack. Yes it is connected to Bubba Gump the movie and I must say it was great atmosphere, staff, and I even had an alcoholic Lemonade, it was great. I was also able to see the outer area of the Daytona NASCARA racing speed track. Man I would not be able to suck up everything in one day.

I'm just grateful I have at least 1 more day to enjoy myself. Also my god-daughter had a mini vacaction herself with some friends of Kai's from this past Friday and she came back this evening and I missed her so much. I took some more pictures of her and showed her some more gifts that I bought her. I took some lil home made video's to remember her by. The girl is simply amazing.

At first I didn't know what to get her but once I found out that she liked Dora the Explorer that has been my main focus for buying her gifts. I want to make sure she enjoys everything. Not to mention I definitely wanted to make sure that I got gifts for Kai and James as well. They have been wonderful hosts but more importantly they have been wonderful family;)

Also with this time to be down here I have felt such a weight off of my shoulders because I have been able to just sit back and chill and just wonder about me for once. I felt that I've been able to call my family back home and have great conversations and I've been able to say "I love you" for the first time in such a long time. Do you realize I don't even REMEMBER the last time I've said that anyone in my family. Heck even my sis called me asking for advice on purchasing a certain T.V. and I gave her my advise and even offered to help her pick out her T.V. After I hung up I just had a big smile on my face. I was like wow, I can have a positive relationship with family. I just a need a breather from time to time.

Which has me really wondering about trying to move down here. This would be a perfect place for me to start over and be fresh. St. Louis is a cool city but I feel it is too confining and just not enough. Not to mention it holds some memories that I rather not have to think about from time to time randomly. Not to say I don't appreaciate the good ones. I just feel it's time for me to move on. Yet I want to make sure that if I do it has to be on terms that I'm steady enough and comfortable to do. For me school would be a huge factor. I would like finish my degree before moving anywhere. I feel that if I didn't finish here there is is a strong chance I wouldn't persue it anymore.

I know working retail is not the future I want for the rest of my life. There is alot that I would want to do. Not to mention the houses down here just simply devine. Some of the structures are just breathtaking and the key thing I've heard from Kai is location if you want a deal on a house. Who knows hopefully in the future, I might be able to call their family neighbors. lolol;) Not to mention there are some seriously hot guys just walking around this place. HOT HOT HOT

Oh well it's getting late and I'm about to turn in for some shut eye. This evening I made them bake chicken, James made some pasta, and Kai provided a brownie treat. What can I say????????// YUM YUM YUM

Whoa Orlando is amazing!!!

Okay its official.....This is a great place to live. Yesterday before Kai came back home from James off, she picked up a friend of her's whose birthday happen to be July 26. So I was able to meet her and she was a really cool and down to earth person. We were all geared up to go to the beach, but not before we were treated to a fashion show by miss diva Aislyn showcasing her swimming suits and I must say she received perftect finger snaps on all of them. So after miss thang decided on a pink swimming we get ready to get into the car when Kai's friend unfortunately has a mishap with the garage door with one of her hands.

She assure Kai that she's okay but after we get in the car and only get a few blocks away her friend informs her that she doesn't feel too good and needs some cool air so we return immediately back to the house and we order some pizza and chicken wings. So after Aislyn has a few pizza she is pretty much ready for her nap and while she is in dreamland. The ladies start talking about men, sex, relationships, etc. etc. etc. and I must say the talk was great!

So about 6pm or so we head on out and go to one of the malls. We drop off Aislyn to her dad who works close in the area and we make are way to Macy's to try to find Kai's friend a pretty outfit to wear for the next day. I of course being the explorer that I am happen to go around and check the place out. We also stopped at some other stores but while they happen to be in Dillards I went to Bath and Body Works to go buy Kai some Brown Sugar and Fig Bath products since she liked the scent that I was wearing that morning.

It was so funny because she called me asking me where I was and the connection was bad on our cellphones so I kept telling her I would meet her back at Macy's after telling her that I was at Bath and Body works but she couldn't make it out. She eventually did understand me and came through as I was coming out. I had a big ole smile on my face as I gave her the bag and she just loved the stuff.

So soon afterwards since the mall was closing we go back through Macy's to get to Kai's car and make our way to dropping off Kai's friend. Let me tell you something. Orlando is simply amazing, have I said that already? We drove highways and major streetways with shops lined up on both sides and my head was litereally out of the window just in awe. After we dropped Kai's friend off we made our way to a near bye McDonald's because I had to go to the restroom. Well the McDonalds that we stopped by was so simply a cultral shock. It was done in African Motifs from the outside of the building all the way to the inside, hell the restroom had AFrican Masks and different mirrors and for a split second I was contemplating how I would be able to get one of the mirrors out without them seeing me.

So after I get back to the car Kai asks if I want to drive and I said sure, so she guided out of the area and showed me more of Orlando at night and I must say it was simply beautiful. We went through what I would call a bit of a tourist strip for people out of town, it remind me of a piece of Vegas with all the lil shops all crammed on both sides of the street with attractions left and right, and Kai says it never shuts down in that area as well. We even drove by the Ripley's Believe or Not!!! building. Not to mention a building that was completely UPSIDE!!! Yes the foundition of the building was in the air with upside trees, light posts, the whole works. We even stopped by a Wendy's and I was able to grab one of their burgers. Especially since they no longer exist in St. Louis.

So after that we get on the highway and stay on there which seems like forever and we finally make to a Wal-mart near Kai's house. We were acting look such idiots and having such a great time. All in a big ass Walmart. I was raving about where in the hell were the tampons and pads. She couldn't believe me when I yelled it out. While I was there I picked up some goodies for Aislyn as well as some other items as well. We finally get home about 1:15am and we put the groceries away and went to bed. James was still up watching some cartoons and we said good night.

You talking about a sista knocked out but for some reason I swear I thought someone came in my room and turned off a light and the tv. I don't know maybe I was in a deep sleep. But as long as I wake up still in Florida, I'll be alright;)

First full day of Florida

Yesterday we chilled out at the house and had FRIED FISH and FRENCH FRIES for dinner. DELICIOUS!!!! Later on that evening after James came home from work, Kai, James, and myself played the game GAUNTLET up until close to 2am this morning. So I'm really shocked that I woke up THIS MORNING!!!

This morning I woke up from one great dream. It was perfect because I was still in florida!!! I of course woke up around 7am because my internal clock won't let me do otherwise unless I have a hangover and that's just maybe 40% possibility. My god-baby woke up around 20 minutes later and she came over to my room to watch some cartoons. After a while she stated she was hungry so I took her downstairs and fixed her a bowl of cereal.

Kai and James came down around 8:30am and Kai is taking James to work so we can kick it and go to the malls and check out some places. So me and miss thang are just kickin it around the house. I holla;)

Finally in Florida

Well it's offical ya girl is finally in Florida and I must say I'm simply loving it. Yesterday I left my house after some last checking preping on my luggage by mom (bless her) she did some re-arranging of my luggage so I wouldn't incur a surcharge on luggage if it was heavier than the alloted weight. I get to the East Terminal at Lambert Airport around 6pm and checkin. I go to gate E6 at the Southwest Airlines area and just chillout listening to my mp3 player. 2 flights had already gone by at the gate already and finally by 8:30pm we were able to board our plane. Originally it was scheduled to depart by 8:20pm but there was a delay and we didn't get off the runway until 8:50pm.

The plane was a smaller commerical airline and I had a row all by myself. They dimmed the lights so I pulled out my PSP and played BAND OF BROTHERS for a little while. While I was drinking my Sprite and eating my honey roasted peanuts and also eating my Air Crisps. I kept thinking to myself I can't wait to see Kai and the family. So as I'm up in the air I'm looking out my side window and think to myself I'm so blessed to have friends who care and love me enough to send me on a vacation so I can just kick back and relax.

Fastforward to about midnight. Plane touches down and I forgot how HUGE the Orlando Airport (MCO) is. I got off the plane thinking Kai might be out there, yet I don't see anyone. Then I follow the rest of the passengers to some shuttles that you have to take to get to the main part of the Airport. I get to baggage claim and find my bags and go to a bench.

My phone didn't recognize the Time Zone change so my damn phone is still saying 11:03pm, so I'm thinking, OH CRAP, I bet Kai is still at home and not going to be on her way for at least 15 more minutes. Yet as soon as I turn around I see her come through the crowd. I was just so happy and jumped up and down. We started tearing up and gave each other a huge ass hug.

She took some of my luggage and warned me that she might have forgotten where she parked. I didn't care because I knew we had at least 7 days to find it in the parking lot. After we find her car on the first try. We started to leave the airport but got mixed up and eventually we were on our way after 15 minutes but I just thought it's okay I'm just on a really cool road trip.

We stop by a Walmart Superstore and for those who have never seen such a store. Think of it as a Walmart and a Schnucks, or even your friendly Dieberg or Shop N' Save combined into one huge MEGA STORE. The place is HUGE. Now I understand why Schnucks and the other 2 don't want Walmrt Superstores in the Saint Louis area.

So after going there for some food and other items we head on to her house which is simply beautiful. I was in awe when I arrived here last night and I'm still in awe now. When we got in last night James, her husband, was playing one of my favorite games, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. YEAH!!! We chilled out drank some wine and ate some potatoe chips. Hell Kai and I didn't go to bed until 5am this morning.

I woke up I think around 9 or 10am and went over to Aislyn's room and there she was with her momma. She was smiling but a bit shy at first and now we straight kicking it TOUGH!!!! We've been having fun all day long and I'm just having a blast. Kai cooked a mean breakfast and I had to put a dent in my plate;)

So right now, James is at work, Aislyn is taking her afternoon nap and Kai and I are about to go play LORD OF THE RINGS on XBOX. I'm having a great time and i can't wait to see what the week brings. Ta-Ta. you WISH you could be here;)