I may not be Barbara Walters, but this is 2020

It's the middle of January for the most part. I was originally going to write something on January 1st but.....eh..I'll be honest my mind has been in the biggest fog in a way since November. 2019 was challenging overall but losing one of my best friends really took the wind out of may sails for the rest of the year. Not gonna lie, it has been debilitating to a certain extent.

No New Resolutions

 So yea, I'm late in saying HAPPY NEW YEAR and all that other pizzazz. A few days before New Years Eve I was wondering to myself what resolutions was I going to make. I then decided I wasn't going to do any because I just seem to disappoint myself every damn year. Do I have goals? Yea I have them but I'm not going to get too crazy with them and drill them into my head. That has been my mistake in the past. Thinking about them over and over again until I was so stressed out when I would fail at them and then feel like a nuclear bomb just went off in my face. Then that would just give me another thing to be depressed about. So I'm going to just try to bring more order to my life and try to give myself a schedule to throughout the week to check in with myself on the things that I want to do.

New Year possibilites

Well, as this new year comes through most people are trying to make new promises to themselves in regards to how they can become a better human being. Then again you have people who couldn't give a flying leap and think what they were last year is just going to carry over into 2010.

I for one really want to get a handle on my weight. I was doing boxing and racquetball last year and loved it but had stopped because of an injury. Then once I was better I was too engrossed with other stuff to make it a priority. I'm 30 years old yet I feel so much older because of the weight on my frame.

Another goal of mine is to get back into college and REALLY finish up my degree. I've learned from being in my current job that it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life and further more you can never get comfortable with your current surroundings because you alway risk having the rug pulled out from under you. Also it made me appreciate why I need my education and to finish. I feel I am more focused than when I was fresh out of high school. I hated college because of my experiences in high school, I didn't know how to really interact with people especially guys. Now having worked at my present job, I can honestly say that I have obtained a backbone I have never had and quite frankly I have the students and parents of the community to thank for that. lol

Yet my biggest problem is that I'm still wondering what I want to do. So I plan on going to either UMSL (University of Missouri Saint Louis) or the Saint Louis Public Library downtown and taking an aptitude test, to see exactly what I'm good at doing. Another challenge will be trying to find scholarships, not trying to do the loan thing. Yet I really can't see about that until I do my income taxes in February.

Also have to start job hunting to see what's out there. Since where I currently work all employees will lose their jobs on June 30th, 2010. I will definitely try to find a job that works 7:15 am to 3:15 pm, those hours I know will benefit me with school and working out. It's not like retail where I didn't know what my schedule was and it was never consistent.

I also plan on writing more often in my blog. I used to be really on top of this but have let it slip to the sidelines. So here is my first post of the new year. I wish you all well and take care;)