May 14, 2010

Goodbye Mr. Tree

This morning my dad informed me that Asshole AmernUE are coming to the house to cut down a tree I planted in the back yard back in 5th grade. When I received my little twig not even a foot high I never thought it would have grown into the huge giant that I've known since then. When I first put it back there I remember going into the basement and getting a little shovel to dig some dirt out, putting the roots in and making sure it wasn't leaning. I patted the dirt back in place and made a promise to water and take care of it since in my recent past my attempt with goldfish hadn't prove to be too fruitful. Over the years as I grew up so did my pine tree. So this morning since it was raining I wasn't able to go outside and get a close up look at it to say goodbye. So I went out onto the back porch on the 2nd level of my home and took a few pics. I'm at work now and just thinking about it makes me sad that when I go home my tree won't be there to greet me;( Yet I'm hoping the rain will stay steady so at least by the time I get home it will still be there one more day;) R.I.P. Mr. Pine Tree

May 13, 2010

A day in retrospect

1. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

2. “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”

3. “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”

Eleanor Roosevelt quotes

As I sit up in bed I think about my day today. Currently I'm listening to Joe Sample's "Living in the Blue", a smooth mellow Jazz piece that would put any person's mind at peace. Today I woke up to thunderstorm clouds moving across the skies. They had yet to release their frustrations onto the rooftops of the houses in my neighborhood. My father needed to drop off one of our cars up at the shop so I tailed him and brought him back home.

I came back home and got dressed, made my morning low carb drink, packed up my laptop and made it to work. Just made it in time before the rains finally started to making their debut for the day. While there today, I'm on the web lookin at the different job internet sites. I've looked at so many it seems as though they are blending in together. About noon I take a lunch and leave the school, thinking about the last few weeks I have at the high school. I get back to the school at chill out in the staff lounge. Speaking with coworkers until the 2:30 pm bell rings.

After work I go up to UMSL and drop off some financial aid forms. As I'm walkin through the Millennium Center, I see a young lady with her cap and gown smiling wildly and running for the doors. I pause and look her and wonder honestly if I will ever witness something like that for myself. I shake off my doubt head to the top level via escalator, drop off my forms and then make my way home.

At home, I relax before I go to my zumba and boxing classes. When the time arrives I go to my zumba class, excited and ready to put in some work. Then I dash off to boxing classes and I let a rip into the trainer and his punching gear, just replayin my day and all the doubts that have started to creep up on me. With every punch I feel it startin to recede and by the time I'm done, I can literally feel my fears being release through the torrential sweat that is coming off my body and being wiped away by my shirt and boxing gloves. I'm tired yet I feel great.

I finish off the evening by going to Schnucks, off of Olive near the Delmar Loop and pick up some items for my mom and then bring them home. I'm praying for some more rain. You'd be amazed how much one can find reflection in mother nature.

While watching a movie on tv this evening, somebody had said quote 1 at the beginning of my blog. I looked it up and saw that Eleanor Roosevelt was the originator. I thought about if for a few minutes and thought it is true. Nobody can make you feel the way you do without you granting permission.

So after I googled the 1st quote, I saw that she had some other quotes that caught my eye, hence quotes 2 and 3. I thought of quote 2 and thought, damn this is somethin else. It's nice to have intellectual convo's with people. Yet you will run into people who wanna put your name in the gutter. Especially people who say they know you when in truth they don't know the real deal. Reality is a bitch somedays. Quote 3, now there is an eye opener. It states its okay to be who you are, even if you are weird and unique as I am. Some people get me and understand how I am. Others have tried and failed. I'm not changing to kiss anyone's ass, so if you don't like what you see, then simply be gone and take your sensitive ass someplace and ponder under a big ass tree until lightening strikes that bitch down.

Life is not a box of chocolates, if that was the case I would be eating coconut clusters out the ass and be happy as hell. Life is about ups and downs and Lord knows I have had my share of them, I've learned from MOST of them. But what I will no longer deal with are OTHER'S people's ups and downs and then try to blame their issues on me. I've had to come to terms about myself and I'm trying to fix the issues as they come along. If you feel I'm a downer to your life, then keep my name out of your life via mind and sound. I guarantee you it has worked for me.

Wow....I guess that boxing today did alot more than just give me a physical workout today.

May 10, 2010

Fwd: Sometimes I just say the darnest things;)

A student of mine came in the office to say hello. He asked me if I had a good Mother's Day yesterday. I told him I wasn't a mother. He then asks me if I want to have kids in the future. I tell him I do but haven't found a man crazy enough to marry me yet. lol So then I told him, when my husband puts the ring on my finger at the wedding, I'm going to yell "GOTCHA", then proceed to hit him upside the head, drag him into the limo, speed back to our home and lock him in the cellar for the first week until he has come to terms with his fate. My student looks at me bug-eyed and runs out the office. Some days I just love my job;)
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