December 15, 2006

the breaking point

Yesterday morning my mother "as usual" left a fucking list of chores for me todo. I wasn't able to get to them because I had other things that were to me more important to ironing some god damn kitchen drapes, oiling down some furntiure, and etc.... I had paperwork to finish up for the new job I was trying to get as well as trying to restore the cable box to work with the new t.v. to no avail.

My mom had called me and asked me if I had gotten the chores done and I had said no because I was dealing with the t.v. After talking with her I left the house about a hour later since I was still frustrated that I couldn't get the cable box fixed. So I went to the mall to chillout. I stayed there for 2 hours and just walked around.

When I got home there was a note on the steps from my mother pretty much stating how I failed to do anything she asked. What didn't make it better was that my dad was standing right at the door. I read the note and my fists just balled up. My dad was talking and shaking his head in disapproval as usual.

I went to my room and just sat on my bed. I'm tired, I'm simply sick and tired of my family. I'm sick of whenever there is an issue that THEY did they expect me to fix it for them. Hello if you phucked up then you clean it up. I'm sick of them being in my damn business about school, my weight, I just wish to high hell they would just leave me the phuck alone.

Everytime I step into my house, I feel like the life is being sucked out of me. So this morning around 5:40am she wakes me up. REINTERATING the fact that I failed to do any of the chores on the list. So I'm trying to explain to her why it wasn't done yet. She didn't want to here and as she is complaining my dad is coming up the steps and I'm like I just don't need this shit THIS FUCKING EARLY IN THE MORNING!!! I just stare and listen to them both as they complain. After they are done I close my bedroom door and just sit there.

I have to get the hell out of this by 2007. I'm sick and tired that whenever I have an off day it automatically means something for me todo around the damn house and I can't enjoy myself until I have whatever they assigned done. I wouldn't mind it if it didn't happen EVERY GOD DAMN TIME I HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF. I know it's best for me to just get as far as a way that I can from them because everytime they get on my nerves all I can think about is just hurting them.

I've come to a point where I just don't like my family.I don't care to have conversations with them because to me they turn into interogations. My sister is a pain in the ass. Perfect example, my parents just called me to their room to "talk" for about 10 minutes. I'm just standing there listening and now I'm right back in my room. Now my mom JUST came in my room asking me if I have work. She then states then I have enough time to get as many of the chores done. I'm just looking at her all I see is red.

I have work today around 8am till 4pm. After i get off I'll go somewhere to chillout by myself. Maybe go to a park, but my phone will definitely not be on. I don't need anymore grief today. I already have plenty to go off on as it is. Sad thing is I do care about my family and I do have good times with them from time to time but the perctange is definitely slipping.

When i move out, it's going to be far away from here.
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