March 20, 2008

a bit of humor for the day

(This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart).
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ somuch. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. Ihave never figured out why men think with their head and women withtheir heart.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feellike it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that about?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads tohear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a womanenough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me forwho I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time withher. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, bigunnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried onseveral different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which oneto take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes tocompliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for eachoutfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair ofdiamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must havethought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she wastesting me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't evenknow how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this isall dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don'tfeel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for meto satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, Iadded,'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things Ibuy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that B*tchknows I'm smarter than her.
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