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May 20, 2006

May 19, 2006

Boy when it rains it pours

Boy when it rains it pours

Well today is Friday and I’m at work 6:20 A.M. I’ve been thinking about some issues that have been on my mind lately. As you know from my chronicles that my mom beat Breast Cancer, and for your information I will be taking part in the St. Louis’ ninth annual Susan G. Komen Foundation Race for the Cure on June 10 which will be held downtown.

I found out last week that one of her older sister’s, my Aunt Ora, who could almost pass for my mom’s twin, was diagnosed with colon cancer. Now I know cancer and heart issues run pretty strong in our family, especially on my mother’s side. I lost my maternal grandmother to stomach and pancreas cancer on my birthday in 1994. My grandfather passed that same year on Thanksgiving. Not the kind of year I envisioned having. Her brother, my Uncle Lindell had colon cancer around 10 years ago, but his was detected early and his treatment was successful. I know many extended family members and friends who have succumbed to various cancer diseases.

I’m worried about my Aunt Ora because she has been through a lot lately with her husband being in the hospital for the past couple of months because of serious health issues. He has lost his short term memory and he’s become extremely violent with people. It was to the point they had to admit him to the hospital for observation. She complains about pain in other parts of her body and my mom hopes that it hasn’t spread to other organs. She talks about possibly taking some time off and going to California to be with her.

I just wonder how much one family can take and why. My heart goes out to my Aunt Ora’s children and grandchildren. She has two, both older than me and I know it wasn’t easy hearing the news. I should know, when my mom told me she had breast cancer I though my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I still don’t know how I made it through the day. I still think about that day too but thankfully not as often. When I found out about my Aunt, I just went to my room and just sat on the bed. My eyes became teary and I thought this can’t be happening again.

Another issue that ties into this is my weight. I’m losing this weight because I don’t want to have any health issues that might become greater as I become older. I deserve to enjoy my life and whomever I decided to share my life deserves the fullest from me as well. For example, I’m not going to marry someone who smokes or drinks excessively aka KEITH BROWN (yuck!!!!). Chances are if you’ve been doing it for a long time your lungs and liver are shot to hell. You only short change yourself and why put your spouse through the pain and stress of seeing you suffer.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not ignorant to the point that I believe even if you don’t do any harm to your body that you still wont’ get sick. What I’m saying is that I don’t want to be with someone that would WILLINGLY put there body at risk and in harm’s way. Now if you have quit doing something that you shouldn’t be doing then good for you. For example I know 3 of my co-workers, 1 from job #1 and 2 from job #2, that stopped smoking. They feel so much better; they said they have their taste buds back, just feel in a way like a whole new person.

Now I know someone who unfortunately smokes and drinks WAY TOO MUCH. It’s to the point I can smell the liquor from his pores before I even SEE HIM. This of course would be Keith, you know, Danielle’s housemate. He keeps asking me why I won’t go out with him. I told him that NOBODY would go out with him on so many levels, but one of those levels happens to be he smokes and drinks way too much. I can’t even stand to be close to him because of the odor. Not to mention he becomes a tad bit aggressive when he’s drunk.

For example, some months back when we were all over at Danielle and his house, and I made dinner for everyone. Well I was pissed because I was playing Spades and Keith was my partner. We should have technically won but he kept fucking up and had the nerve to say before the game that he wanted another partner because he didn’t think I could play. Well I was playin just fine and of course Keith with his mouth kept talking shit and wouldn’t be quiet. After we lost because of his huge fuck up I just looked like I wanted to kill him. I go into the kitchen to make sure the food is okay, do you know this fool had the nerve to make a bet about something I cannot go into detail unfortunately on here. He then proceeds to ask me out, I told him we all go out as a GROUP all the time. I turn to walk away, he grabs my wrist and won’t let go, I look at him and tell him he needs to chill out. He keeps pursing the matter to the point it starts to bother me. I again turn away and his hand tightens on my wrist. NOW I’m pissed. I looked him in the eye and got real close. “If you don’t take your hand off of me right now, I will kick your ass and to hell if your Manager from YOUR job is standing in the next room”. Needless to say he backed off yet he kept creeping me out because as I went back into the dining to watch the next card game, he kept staring at me and standing or sitting next to me. I just got the point where I just told everyone I was going home. Kamina and Danielle knew something wasn’t right and just stared at me. I got my shit and walked out the door, do you know that ass had the nerve to come out side and say, “You know we going out eventually right?” By this time I get to my car, and I turned to him and say, “When hell freezes over.” I can’t imagine how Danielle puts up with it.

Another issue that has been on my mind has been my ex. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but for some time now I will go to sleep and I’ll be having some weird ass dreams. I know I’m not smoking anything illegal or otherwise so I don’t know what the phuck….It seems so weird also that I’ve known in the past that if my girls want to go out to club, there are times I don’t feel like going. Yea well for some strange reason those are the same nights my friends will tell me that they ran into him. Not to mention my younger sis has seen him as well. Don’t get it twisted I’m definitely not a Shaman (Indian Foreteller) I just wonder what the hell they mean or if they mean anything at all.

Some dreams I’m sitting in the grass in a beautiful field underneath a huge tree. I’m sitting in a cotton dress with the buttons in the front and I’m leaning back on the tree. Out of no where comes a red and black shuttle bug (for those who used to ride Bi-State Bus WAY back in the day there used to be red and black shuttle bus that used to go thru Forest Park and some other areas. Since it was painted to look like a lady bug it was known as the SHUTTLE BUG, boy the memories on that bus hahaha.)

Ok back to my story, So the bus pulls up and the door opens. I can’t see the person’s face because the bus is a ways off and he is wearing a cap on his head. We are staring at each other for a long time and then this person starts to walk towards me. He doesn’t immediately start walking exactly, at least not at first. He takes some steps forward kind of like he’s nervous to approach me. So I stand up and wave to him. He raises his hand in response and continues to walk towards me. I can still tell in his approach to me that he still doesn’t know if walking towards me is a good idea. His hands are in his pockets and his gaze is still on the grass. As we come closer he still won’t let his head up. I stop walking and so does he. He looks up and I see a pair of chocolate eyes that I haven’t been drowned in over 5 years. He walks those final steps and stands before me. We just stare at each other and I’m looking at him as though he can’t be real.

I look at him and shake my head no, I slowly back up and turn around. He comes up from behind me and embraces me. All my anguish and tears just pour out and where my tears fall, flowers spring up. They spread in a circle around us. Then I notice some movement from behind the big tree that I was leaning on originally. It’s a lil girl and she is running around the tree smiling and laughing. My ex and I go back towards the tree and we sit. What we talk about I can never seem to remember, because at the point that we are back at the tree with the lil girl, I seem to get “sucked” out of the dream like a vacuum. Weirdest thing ever I swear. Like I said I have this dream on and off about 2 times a week for the past couple of months ever since February. Yet that is just one of my dreams. My other’s I’ll have to keep to myself, they are more like flashbacks from our past. Those I dream about from time to time. Yet again like I said before they are just dreams they probably don’t mean anything so I don’t dwell on them to make sense.

Oh well, I hope your day is pleasant. I’m at work right now and when I get off around 4pm, I plan on HOPEFULLY picking up my bride’s maid dress for Amy’s wedding and around 6:30p.m. will meet a friend for some Racquetball action and who knows what else. Today is payday, ANYTHING is possible. LOLOL take care and god bless;)



     

May 18, 2006

update so far on THIS week

Sunday - Had to work at job #2 (YEAH!) NOT!!!!!!!

Monday - It rained like cats and dogs so I wasn't able to go workout and play racquetball like I normally do so I went to the gym and worked out for about 2 hours.

Tuesday - I had work as usual at job #1 but I knew I was in store for a treat later on that evening. I hooked up with Danielle, Kamina, and Larry for the Cardinals game at Busch Stadium. Finding good parking wasn't the hardest part, it was trying to parallel park that was the big bitch for me. I ended up getting frustrated as usual and getting out of the car so Kamina could do it. Needless to say I don't really care to manuver a car into tight spaces. I still don't know how I ended up getting my license.

We had some really good seats and as usual we made sure that we sat underneath with some cover. Game was going okay until it started to rain at the top of the 7th inning. Needless to say it kept pouring for over an hour and while we TRIED to wait it out we watched 3 other games on the big screen to pass the time, I started to go a tad bit nuts and walked around till my friends found me and we decided to bounce. Well as we are in the car we hear the game started back up again, boy you talkin about a pissed off CHICK!!!!! So I dropped Mina off at home. Then took Larry and Danielle to the Schnucks off of Lindell so they could do some shopping. Dropped them off at home and then took my ass home.

Wednesday - Did double duty today. Worked both jobs, dad dropped me off at job #1 but my mom had to come get me from there and drop me off at job #2 as well as pick me up later on that night. Nothin really spectacular.


Thursday - Well today I got to work a lil bit late. My sis was having some drama with her "man friend" I don't even know what to call him to be honest. So I had to go handle a situation down in the city and get something and take it to her job since they were fighting like cats and dogs over the phone today. So I felt I would feel more comfortable if I went and dealt with the situation so i wouldn't worry about her. So I got the damn CD changer and took it to her job and then headed out to my own damn job.

Well I get there around 10am and I'm nervous because I knew that a good co-worker/friend of mine was possibly going to be fired but thank god, her job was saved. I stayed at work until 6pm and then went to the St. Louis Mills Mall. I originally had plans to meet up with one of my best friends Amy for some dinner at Maggiano's across the street from the St. Louis Galleria, but plans came that she had to do for her wedding and I told her that I didn't have a problem going out at another time. So we decided we would hook up on Saturday later on in the evening. It was best since I have a 7am meeting at job #2, and want to get in some racquetball afterwards, oh and also a wedding to attend for a high school friend (Laura and Joe). Doesn't my Saturday sound busy to you?

So instead of hooking up with Amy my girl Tiffany calls me and asks if I want to go the movies, you know from my previous posts this is my road dog when it comes to movies or whatever she's pretty much down for it. So she meets me up at the Mills and we go see POSIEDEN. It was very good and I was impressed. I know a mutual friend of ours was married this past Saturday and she told me that the wedding and reception were great. She told me that everything went fine without a hitch and I'm really happy for him, his new bride, and newborn son. Yet when I see Mike I will get on his head for not responding to my text message on where they were registered. Yet he probably was so busy with the wedding he forgot what a cellphone looked like. Oh well no biggie, I just want to wish them happiness and joy. Congratulations!!!

Friday - Ok i'm not a fortune teller but I DO know what is going to happen somewhat. I'm going to go to work and get paid my check. Then I'm going to go pay some bills and then meet up with a friend for some racquetball and then who know's what;) I guess you can tell that I'm really started to get addicted to racquetball, MAN it is a kick ass sport and i give so many props to people that play it. i would play it everyday if I could BUT I can't.

p.s. - i was going to go to the gym tonight but I was like fuck it, I'm too tired so I'm just going ot make this a "rest day" and just kick ass on Friday and Saturday. Ok then, I'm out and I'll try to make my posts more frequent instead of once a week. I am SUCH a slacker. Oh and for those who have been emailing me about when am I going to continue my story in SINSUAL PLEASURES, fear not I just had to take a break about writing about sex so much, when you haven't had any in over 5 years, you tend to get a tad bit grouchy. lolol take care and good night.

May 13, 2006

Interesting Week

Well I know I've been out of commission for quite some time. So I apologize and will try to update you with as much info that i can.

Sunday - had work at job #2, nothing spectacular there.

Monday - Started to clean up my desk and cubicle area at job #1 since we were being moved back to original building later on this week. Oh and I went to go work out and play raquetball up at Barnes Hospital. Met an interesting fellow. lol We played a couple of hours along with his sister. Wierd and intersting, that's all I'm gonna say on that.

Tuesday - Continued to clean up my area and get things organized for my move.

Wednesday - Took the day off and went to my VERY FIRST Cardinals game at the new stadium with Danielle, Bridgette, and a friend of Danielle's. We had kick-ass seats especially since it started to rain and we had cover above our heads. Section 165 row 20. Please note will want to get seats in the future around that area. Of course the Cards won and afterwards we went back to Danielle's house and we said our goodbyes. Danielle and I went to the IHOP to get some food and then I took her home and I crashed at my house.

Thursday - Get to work and start to box items to be moved back to the towers. I had 4 and it sucks because I am losing space so I have to go buy something to hold my other items. Especially my spice rack, tea, and my other important items. Oh well, then I went to the 24 hour fitness gym out at St. Charles and worked out.

Friday - The big move finally came and go to my old building to drop of my locker keys. Get the rest of my stuff and head back over to towers. Takes a while to get situated and into the swing of things, which I don't exactly do. At least where I sit there is a room I can go to and relax and take a nap. Not to mention I can see the clouds. lolol So for lunch I go to Zappa's, which is the lil restaurant on the first floor. My favorite cook, Fred doesn't work there anymore. So i just got something to eat and ate it back at my desk. I pretty much didn't do shit for the remainder of the day. Went to the hair salon so I could get my hair done. Later on that evening Diahanna (my sis) and I went and worked out at the gym. So that pretty much sums up my Friday.

Saturday - I had planned on getting up and going to job #1 and putting in some hours to put in my 40 hours for work. Yea that didn't happen. So i'm thinking I might go and play some raquetball, not sure still debating. I do have work later on today so that is just an update on my week. Hope all is well with you and god bless.

May 3, 2006

How one great day can turn into a nightmare

How one great day can turn into a nightmare

On May 1, 2006, I took off a half day to take care of some personal business as well as to take advantage of the Wehrenberg Theater $1 movie special that they had going on at all of the Movie Theaters in Missouri. My morning started off like any typical morning except that there was a lil twist to mine. As I was driving, on my way to work, I notice that smoke is starting come up from under my hood. Now for the past couple of days I noticed that the TEMPATURE light in my dashboard was coming on. I had put my car in the shop earlier last week because my hose for my power steering was busted and a new one had to be installed. I informed my mechanic about the Temperature light and when I went to pick up my car on Saturday (April 29, 2006). He told me it should run fine. WELL it didn’t. The light came back on as I was driving to work. So luckily I was almost at work and so I was able to get there with no problems. I parked my car and I worked my 4 hour shift.

Now fast forward to 10am when I am about to leave. I get in my car and I make my way down HWY 270 so I can take care of my business before I go the movies. Well I finish up with my appointment and then I’m on Lindbergh aka Hwy 67 (for you St. Lou folks) and the intersection of New Halls Ferry. WHY OH WHY did the smoke start up again and now worse than before. Not to mention NOW my car is starting to stop on the street. NOT GOOD. So now I’m looking like what the fuck…I’m lucky enough to make it to the Walgreens down the street and park the car. I call AAA to get a tow truck and then I call my friend, Tiffany to let her know that I wouldn’t be able to make it.

Well after that call, I take out the manual and I look thru it and discover a POSSIBILITY to help alleviate my issue. When I look under the hood I notice I have ZERO engine coolant. So I go into the Walgreens and buy a big ass jug of Anti-freeze/Engine Coolant. Go back to my car and fill that bitch up to correct line. I start the car and do a couple of laps in the parking lot. I feel confident that it’s running okay, so I call AAA cancel the tow, call my girl back and tell her everything is cool and to meet me at the Mall.  

Now I’m driving to the mall, guess what……my damn car starts to smoking AGAIN, so I park on the farside by Dillard’s away from the main crowd by the movie theater. I just pray that since I’ll be in the mall for over 10 hours that it will give my car enough time to cool off and start acting right. Yea, I know wishful thinking…

I’m waiting outside of the mall for Tiffany and you wouldn’t believe the hug crowd that is already inside and in line trying to get tickets. So Tiffany finally shows up and we get in line. We waited about 30 minutes and we were able to get 4 tickets each for $4. Man it doesn’t get any better than THAT!!! The shows we went to see were SILENT HILL 1:30pm, INSIDE MAN 4:20pm, ICE AGE 7:20pm, and THE SENTINEL 10:10pm. It was perfect because we had time in between each show to go relax and walk the mall until the next show. For all you shopping fanatics, Dillard’s, is closing there store out at Jamestown. Everything is going!!!! At least 20% off of everything, but majority was 30% and up. Saw some cool shirts and kitchenware items.

Like I said before the mall was crowded, and it seem to get worse as the day progressed. We decided after the 1st movie (or the 2nd) to go get something to eat. She had Subway, I had Isbarro’s. By the last show, which was at 10:10pm we were just sitting down and chillin in the mall waiting for seating to begin. As I predicted earlier, there were some fights from high school kids. Yet the point that dumfounds me is how in the hell they thought 3 POLICE OFFICERS were gonna be able to control over 300 people? Makes ya say Hmmmm.

Fast-forward to the end of the last movie, which was excellent by the way. It is now past Midnight and time for me to take my ass home. I bid Tiffany a farewell and I make it to my car. I say a prayer and just hope my car keeps it together by the time I get home. Again wishful thinking. Everything is fine and dandy until I get past CHAMBERS and West Florissant. My car starts to act up and the smoke starts coming again. As I pull into a parking lot of one of the stores lined on the street my car stops. I can’t believe this is happening so late.

I start my car and I’m able to make it to Industral drive and Bermuda rd. At this point the car is absolutely DEAD. I had to call my sister to come get me not to mention that damn tow truck from AAA. Well my sis gets there with my mom’s car because guess what? My sister’s car is in the shop, my dad’s car caught on fire THE SAME DAY (May 1, 2006) and now my shit is out of commission. The tow truck gets there and it’s so weird because the tow truck happen to be from the Towing company that was actually across the street from my car.


So we make our way into the city and we drop it off at our family mechanic’s shop who is not THERE, so I just clear my stuff out and put it into my mom’s car. We make it home and I just go to bed because I don’t want to have to think about this headache. Needless to say the next day, Tuesday (May 2, 2006), my dad informs me that the mechanic says it’s the radiator. I felt so bad because he came in on his day off just look at my car. So needless to say today I am at work and hopefully my car will be ready by this afternoon but you know what? I wouldn’t hold my breath on it. I’m just thankful my sis got a rental so she would be able to get herself around and be able to drop me off at work.

Oh well hope your week has been better than mine;)


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