January 1, 2013

As my Winter Break comes to a close, a new beginning is in the horizon

This Winter Break has been nothing short of exciting and relaxing. I've had time to chill from Dec. 22nd @ 1pm and will not be returning back to grinding at the job until THIS Friday @ 8am. This year has had its ups and downs. I'm still trying to find myself. Nothing new there. During this break I caught up on some self-empowerment reading on various things. 

Yet one thing I did was deal with a situation that I had left undone for the past 15 years. Someone had contacted me via facebook on a friend request (not sure if it was an automatic suggestion via facebook or if the person actually contacted me themself) and I just stared at the request for the longest time. It actually had been sitting in my request box for a while. This person had been the ringleader of the group of girls who bullied me in high school and those encounters at that school had haunted me on and off throughout my life.

At first when I received it I was just going to delete and ignore it and in all honesty it was the 2nd time I had received a request  from this same person. The first time was back in 2011.  I felt it was time to "slay the demon" and just put the issues to sleep once and for all. Yet I was torn about it. So I contacted a girlfriend and asked her opinion. She said I needed to let her know how I felt about her and don't hold back. So I did just that. By the time I was done with my letter it was about 2 pages. It just flowed out of me and I felt so much better after reading it. I sent it via facebook and denied her friend request. I received a response back from her less than 1o minutes and she pretty much stated she didn't recall any incidents back then. I just shook my head and thought denial must be a lovely place in her head. I shrugged my shoulders and deleted the message. I had dealt with the issue and I was done with her. 

I still plan on continuing my exercise mission of getting myself tight and right;) I haven't been at the gym in almost a month and it's definitely showing, but I plan on rectifying that situation come this month. Even though this weather with all this snow SUCKS I still need to get myself back in my boxing and kickboxing classes. I miss them too much. Also I've been reading about weightlifting so I will be doing that as well. What the point of losing this weight if I can't get lean and mean? I can't wait to sign up again this January 19th for the new Lose to Win Saint Louis Challenge. I need something to keep me focused and this program did help alot.

My hair is still a continuing journey. It's been sprouting out of my head since my big chop in May and honestly I think at times I've bitten off more than I can chew. Yet when I'm in the shower and just smiling to myself that I'm washing my own hair. I can't wait for what the future has in store for me. I am definitely getting my share of fairy knots in my hair and my sheds like any other person but I have a feeling I might need to make appointments to see Daisha a tad bit more than just every 6 or 7 months from now on. Oh well only time will tell.

Hair length check on 1-1-13

School. I'm not talking about my job, I'm talking about college. I need to get back in. I need to focus in on what I want to do with my life and give it purpose. It sucks being a Jack of many trades but Master of none. 

I'm sick and tired of existing. I need to start living. It's been a long road but I realized I need to love myself before anyone else can. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have some excitement in my life. I know I deserve all these things. Now I just need to fight for them.

So what will 2013 hold for me? Who knows, but I'm looking forward to the ride and a Brand New Me.


Until the next episode....

 All That MsJazz
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