February 8, 2012

Valentine Gift's FAIL

As Valentine's Day approaches I can't help but wonder what gifts might be given. Most women I know enjoy roses, candy, or even a romantic night on the town. Yet there are others who will be unfortunate to receive a gift/surprise and wish to God that they had not. I was thinking of a few that I will list. Please feel free to add to the list.

For Women

1. A gym membership (unless a previous conversation has hinted AND has been accepted as an acceptable gift.

2. A gift certificate to a place you know she does not go. (example: Lowes, Sear Hardware Department, unless AGAIN previous conversation has been held.)

3. A teddy bear such as the above picture with a similar or same message.

4. Any brown liquor that can be bought behind a Schmucks, Diebergs, or Shop N Save counter and comes with 2 free shot glasses that have the name of the liquor company on them. (example: Crown Royal, unless she is an alcoholic.)

5. A STD (Short Tiny D*ck) (Oh and the OTHER STD, the kind of gift you wish you had not received in the first place.)

For Men

1. A tie

2. A tease (especially if they felt from a previous conversation that they were gonna get some.)

3. The above options given for women from 1 through 5. Except for the first part of number 5 unless you roll that way.

4.  Unwanted conversations about the "next step" in the relationship.  How about enjoying "this step" today and making sure there aren't any "missteps" for next 24 hours.

Oh well, I've put my two cents in...
Copyright @ All That MsJazz. Blog Design by KotrynaBassDesign