(D)evil in (E)verything (S)pecially (E)ducation

Well its only been a few months since the Wellston School District was permanently shut down. Heck it was still surreal to me until I turned in my keys. Since then I've been on my grind looking for a new job. I can't even say how many apps I've put in, yet nothing seems to appear. I've probably have dealt with more spam mail regarding job inquires than spam in general.

At this time I also can't help but be pissed off everyday when I think of our situation with the district and how it was handled by DESE. It seems we were doomed from the get-go when school re-opened back in August '09. Apparently that summer, DESE had decided mainly with their newly appointed Commissioner of Education Chris L. Nicastro that Wellston would be shutdown. Unfortunately the memo wasn't passed down to the Wellston employees until December, when in fact we should have been told back in August when we had our 2 day workshop at Washington University.

We had a feeling something was going on because normally DESE reps would come to the school in the winter months to see how things were progressing, they didn't last year. Then we started to hear rumors that the school district was possibly going to be shutting down. Staff even asked the Superintendent if that was the case and he lied to them and told them it wasn't the case. Yet more tale telling signs were pointing more and more in the opposite direction.

In all this drama, the biggest sign to me was the lack of supplies for the 09-10 school year. I didn't receive not a lick of supplies unless it was paper. I didn't understand how the main office thought we were suppose to just make due with our heads barely above water. I felt bad for my teachers and rest of staff when I had to let them know that I couldn't even provide them with basic supplies and they had to end up coming out of their own pockets to provide for their classrooms and students.

Then in December we have "the meeting" at the Normandy middle school off of Natural Bridge. Commissioner of Education Chris L. Nicastro is their on the stage along with some other members of DESE, the reason I can remember her is the Bright Blueberry suit she wore that was hurting my eyes and I was sitting in the back of the area listening to the B.S. that was going down.

The main auditorium area where we had the meeting was packed. Parents, Staff, and students from both school districts were there. The Wellston crew knew something was up when we found out how the so called farce of a "forum" was run. They passed out pencils and pieces of paper for you to write 3 questions down. WTF? Normal forums have a microphone for people to form a line and ask questions. Apparently the other school district knew to plan appropriately to control the event. So Nicastro informs us that she has recommended to the DESE board that Wellston School district to be shut down and "merged" with Normandy. Which in all honesty is a joke, its not a merger its a takeover. When Normandy's Supt was talking about the "new" experiences the Wellston students would enjoy at Normandy with the new facilities (weight room, track and field, and other renovations) the Wellston staff and parents were wondering what does any of this have to do with bringing up test scores?

Nicastro barely answered any of the questions that some of the Wellston area had written down, and when others asked about their questions she dismissed them and stated they would be answered in the future. One of the more important questions that was asked, yet poorly answered was, Why you would put our district with another that is not accredited? Her response is that they are partially accredited, we are thinking to ourselves that means nothing, Wellston was partially accredited as well and look at what is happening to us. Finally one of our staff stood up and exploded about how this situation was handled. I along with others applauded. Out of all this mess we felt we had been disrespected not only by our Supt by not being up front and truthful but also by DESE for their lack of respect for us.

After the meeting I went home and just thought about how much politics plays in education. Never saw it before until that night. I thought I was disgusted that night, the following months after provided just as much drama. We found out that our health coverage would end effectively by end of June instead of July or August. We had heard rumors through the grapevine that apparently Nicastro had informed school districts not to hire any Wellston employees. Again I'm not sure if its true or not but given how she handled the meeting that December I wouldn't put it past her.

Another problem I have is that technically Wellston was given 2 more years to show improvement, to me if DESE felt there were problems at the district then they should have replaced the present Supt with another that they felt would get the job done. She could have done that but from what I've heard supposedly she had an axe to grind with the Supt and decided to do away with him and the district at the same time. To me if that is the truth, then she is no better than the people she is supposedly trying to get rid of.

Yet the icing on the cake as far as irony goes is back in May when I found out on the radio that Normandy School district had fired all their staff, I was like wow, at least we found out back in December when some of Normandy staff were clapping and applauding the "merger", I just thought to myself, karma is a bitch n a half. There is no loyalty at all.

After dealing with this situation, I realized that I would not want be an educator at least in the sense of teaching at a school. Times are different from when my mom used to teach versus now. Back then your occupation was more stable and guaranteed. These days you hear not only here but nationwide the school districts that are closing and staff that are losing their jobs.

I guess the main point I want to convey is that people might look at Wellston and say the staff and parents failed those kids. To some degree I will say that there were certain staff that shouldn't have been retained or for that much even hired and it would have helped to have more parent participation yet some parents acted like kidds they damn selves.

Yet the main point is that DESE failed us. They didn't have the backbone to step in and intervene in the situation instead they stayed on the sidelines and pointed fingers and just WAITED for the district to fully corrode itself from the inside without any chance. If this is the kind of leadership that is the head of DESE then unfortunately I have a feeling that Wellston won't be the only school district to close in the coming years. To me DESE not only stands for the title of this blog but also (D)oesn't (E)ncourage (S)uccess (E)nough.

My question to DESE is this. If you couldn't deal with a district the size of Wellston, regardless of the issues, what in the hell makes you think that you are qualified and up to the job to deal with school districts the size of Normandy, Riverview Gardens, and Saint Louis Public Schools?

Even at the end of this crazy & drama filled road, I'll say I will miss my students, staff and parents. Maybe not ALL of them, yet you know who you are. The experiences I have learned I will keep with me forever;)

Nice day

Hello to all this Saturday evening. Had a nice day today, enjoyed a bootcamp class this morning than chilled out at home. Around 6pm I met up with a few grade school friends (Hannah and Amy) out in St. Charles and we kicked it enjoying drinks, veggies, fruits, and of course that wouldn't be complete without 3 adorable little kids in the mix. We had fun gossiping like women do;) Left a few hours later and went back home to chill out. I must say I had a wonderful time and can't wait to get back with them for Hannah's bday;)

Goodbye Mr. Tree

This morning my dad informed me that Asshole AmernUE are coming to the house to cut down a tree I planted in the back yard back in 5th grade. When I received my little twig not even a foot high I never thought it would have grown into the huge giant that I've known since then. When I first put it back there I remember going into the basement and getting a little shovel to dig some dirt out, putting the roots in and making sure it wasn't leaning. I patted the dirt back in place and made a promise to water and take care of it since in my recent past my attempt with goldfish hadn't prove to be too fruitful. Over the years as I grew up so did my pine tree. So this morning since it was raining I wasn't able to go outside and get a close up look at it to say goodbye. So I went out onto the back porch on the 2nd level of my home and took a few pics. I'm at work now and just thinking about it makes me sad that when I go home my tree won't be there to greet me;( Yet I'm hoping the rain will stay steady so at least by the time I get home it will still be there one more day;) R.I.P. Mr. Pine Tree

A day in retrospect

1. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

2. “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”

3. “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.”

Eleanor Roosevelt quotes


As I sit up in bed I think about my day today. Currently I'm listening to Joe Sample's "Living in the Blue", a smooth mellow Jazz piece that would put any person's mind at peace. Today I woke up to thunderstorm clouds moving across the skies. They had yet to release their frustrations onto the rooftops of the houses in my neighborhood. My father needed to drop off one of our cars up at the shop so I tailed him and brought him back home.

I came back home and got dressed, made my morning low carb drink, packed up my laptop and made it to work. Just made it in time before the rains finally started to making their debut for the day. While there today, I'm on the web lookin at the different job internet sites. I've looked at so many it seems as though they are blending in together. About noon I take a lunch and leave the school, thinking about the last few weeks I have at the high school. I get back to the school at chill out in the staff lounge. Speaking with coworkers until the 2:30 pm bell rings.

After work I go up to UMSL and drop off some financial aid forms. As I'm walkin through the Millennium Center, I see a young lady with her cap and gown smiling wildly and running for the doors. I pause and look her and wonder honestly if I will ever witness something like that for myself. I shake off my doubt head to the top level via escalator, drop off my forms and then make my way home.

At home, I relax before I go to my zumba and boxing classes. When the time arrives I go to my zumba class, excited and ready to put in some work. Then I dash off to boxing classes and I let a rip into the trainer and his punching gear, just replayin my day and all the doubts that have started to creep up on me. With every punch I feel it startin to recede and by the time I'm done, I can literally feel my fears being release through the torrential sweat that is coming off my body and being wiped away by my shirt and boxing gloves. I'm tired yet I feel great.

I finish off the evening by going to Schnucks, off of Olive near the Delmar Loop and pick up some items for my mom and then bring them home. I'm praying for some more rain. You'd be amazed how much one can find reflection in mother nature.


While watching a movie on tv this evening, somebody had said quote 1 at the beginning of my blog. I looked it up and saw that Eleanor Roosevelt was the originator. I thought about if for a few minutes and thought it is true. Nobody can make you feel the way you do without you granting permission.

So after I googled the 1st quote, I saw that she had some other quotes that caught my eye, hence quotes 2 and 3. I thought of quote 2 and thought, damn this is somethin else. It's nice to have intellectual convo's with people. Yet you will run into people who wanna put your name in the gutter. Especially people who say they know you when in truth they don't know the real deal. Reality is a bitch somedays. Quote 3, now there is an eye opener. It states its okay to be who you are, even if you are weird and unique as I am. Some people get me and understand how I am. Others have tried and failed. I'm not changing to kiss anyone's ass, so if you don't like what you see, then simply be gone and take your sensitive ass someplace and ponder under a big ass tree until lightening strikes that bitch down.

Life is not a box of chocolates, if that was the case I would be eating coconut clusters out the ass and be happy as hell. Life is about ups and downs and Lord knows I have had my share of them, I've learned from MOST of them. But what I will no longer deal with are OTHER'S people's ups and downs and then try to blame their issues on me. I've had to come to terms about myself and I'm trying to fix the issues as they come along. If you feel I'm a downer to your life, then keep my name out of your life via mind and sound. I guarantee you it has worked for me.

Wow....I guess that boxing today did alot more than just give me a physical workout today.

Fwd: Sometimes I just say the darnest things;)

A student of mine came in the office to say hello. He asked me if I had a good Mother's Day yesterday. I told him I wasn't a mother. He then asks me if I want to have kids in the future. I tell him I do but haven't found a man crazy enough to marry me yet. lol So then I told him, when my husband puts the ring on my finger at the wedding, I'm going to yell "GOTCHA", then proceed to hit him upside the head, drag him into the limo, speed back to our home and lock him in the cellar for the first week until he has come to terms with his fate. My student looks at me bug-eyed and runs out the office. Some days I just love my job;)