November 27, 2008

what love is....

Sometimes I lets redo this....I always wonder about my life if I had done things differently. Lets say there is someone that your always thinking about and still love deeply but you both haven't talked in a while. I mean a really long time because of circumstances that happened a while back. You've known this person for a long time and your paths seem to cross from time to time.

Yet out of the blue they contact you and let you know things they feel about you. Yet after reading the message over and over again you wonder why they are contacting you now. You get together with that person one evening and meet up and when you look at them it's as though time hasn't passed in a way. You still get that same funny feeling in your gut, you get a little light-headed, your skin gets those little goosebumps with heat, and you just itch with ache to touch them. there like a drug (for lack of a better terminology) and withdrawal is a bitch when you've gone without for such a long time.

After talking with them from time to time which is measured more in days than in hours, you come to realize that most likely the life he has made for himself is quite permanent. Most likely there aren't anymore chances for you both. You still hold out hope but in the end it still comes back to where the ways things are in reality. Your analizye it from every angle possible and it keeps coming back at a crossroads. Do you hold out or do you move on?

Some people might say hold out you never know if the tide might turn. Others say move on enough time has passed and if things were going to end the way you wanted them to, it should have happened by now. Both possibilites hold weight, but sometimes I cry to myself and think, damn life can just be bitch. Sometimes I think should I stick it out and fight for what I want or just walk away and say it was a good time while it lasted even with all the bumps in the road.

I do know regardless of my decision there is one main thing I have learned about love......
Love is caring about someone so much that even if you love them with all your heart, even if they don't end up with want them to be happy regardless.

That I can say is probably the hardest lesson I've learned so far.....
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