December 31, 2018

Last day of 2018

Well this evening I'm at home and just finished watching a movie on Netflix, HellRaiser - Judgement. Not bad at all. A lot better than I expected. I went out earlier today with my mom to run some errands. I had told myself earlier this year that I was going to ring in the new year somewhere, but I'm just at home, again, as previous years. The time is about 8:45pm and I'm not sure even where I would go. Do I want to go through the trouble of unbraiding my three strand twist braids in my hair that felt like forever and a day to wash the previous evening?

Every year I make a list of what I'm going to change about myself. Yet every year for the most part I fail. I'm at a point in my life I feel lucky if I can remember the ToDo list I have set up for myself daily. My mind is constantly plaguing me. Has the whole year been a total waste? No, but in my mind it constantly feels like it. My photography classes are going great so far. Yet when it comes to transferring that knowledge into my own work.....I still feel like I am severely lacking.

Yet I have made milestone achievements (in my opinion) when it comes to my photography.  I've taken on more event photography gigs this year and had a huge one to top off the year. Finally conquered my fear of trying OCF (off camera flash) with a friend. I still need work on it but at least I tried it out for the first time. 

One of my greatest fears is getting out of my comfort zone, if you can call it that and just go for things and not be afraid of failing. I am my own worst enemy. Yet I'm signed up for another class but I'm happy that I will be taking it with a friend of mine. My mind runs rapid all the damn time. I swear I only find peace in my dreams at times.  Oh well it's 9:41pm. Less than 2 hr and 20 mins to go until 2018 is a memory. I wonder what 2019 will bring...
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