This mornin I'm up at 4:45am AGAIN but I woke up from a very interesting dream. I don't know why I get up so early especially when I'm so exhausted from the previous day. I'm up right now watchin "Save the Last Dance" and listening to Joe Sample's "Invitation" on Pandora. I'm still workin at my temp job downtown, haven't been able to get to the gym in a while because of my work schedule, so of course I'm starting to see the reflection of the neglect in the mirror. Have two possible job leads and weighing all my options. I obviously want to get back into my old schedule of working in the morning and being off by the afternoon. God I miss that so much;) I miss my old students and even more my old co-workers. I know some of them are adjusting quite well into their new roles, while others wish they were back at Wellston or at least someplace else.
Last night I had an interesting dream. I was on an island, the moon was high in the air with the stars. The water was so clear and I was on the sand watching the waves just rolling softly to my feet. I was in a soft white linen skirt with a matching top and I my hair was lose and the wind was just dancing around me. I start to enjoy a stroll on the sand and I see a stranger sitting on a large rock...
I walk up to the rock and just stare at the person trying to get a good look at them. I can't make out there face its just so damn hazy. I shrug my shoulders and decide to move on. Then all of a sudden the person starts to talk. I know its female because of her voice. She asks me, "Are you happy?" I don't answer I just keep staring at her. She asks the question again, and I respond, "Why do you want to know?"
She shrugs her shoulders and states that she's curious. I don't respond immediately, I sit down in the sand in front of the rock and state that there are somethings I'm happier about this year than I was last year but not everything is where I would like it to be. She replies, " If you want things to change for you, you have to change the situation around you." I listen to what she is saying and think about it trying to figure out how to apply it to myself. She then continues, "Trust is a commodity that can not be bought or bartered, you need to figure out for yourself who is on that list and who is not."
I respond, "I do know how to trust." The stranger replies, "Yet do you know how to forgive?" I remain quiet then I responded, "Out of sight out of mind." The stranger shakes her head from side to side and says, "Think on what I am saying"
She slides off her rock and sits directly in front of me, her face clears up and I finally see the person that I was talking to was...myself. Her outfit is directly the opposite of mine. While mine is the color of the moon, her outfit is the color of the midnight sky. She holds her hands out to me, and I just stare at her. I'm not sure to what to make of this gesture nor am I sure I trust it. I slowly get up and walk backwards away from her and her outstretched hands. She looks at me, nods and smiles and says, "Some people are with you for a lifetime, others for a moment, be sure keep those friendships that mean the most and don't hesitate to make new ones." She then vanishes along with the rock she was perched on.
I then turn back to the ocean and sit down and stretch out on the sand looking at the moon, twinkling stars, and the midnight sky. In the distance I can hear an annoying beeping sound, trying to figure out what the hell is trying to interrupt my peaceful paradise. I slowly start to lose focus and within a few minutes I open my eyes and I'm back in my room with a blaring alarm clock going off in my room. I sit up on my bed and reached for my laptop and decided I want remember this dream and decided to blog it. Dont get me wrong I normally do have weird ass dreams but this one was definitely a notch on the bedpost.
October 15, 2010
October 13, 2010
This weekend a friend of mine asked if I wanted to see a documentary this weekend called WAITING FOR SUPERMAN. At first I didn't know what to make of the title until she informed me that it was about the dire situation our nation faces with the public educational school system. We hooked up at Plaza Frotnenac since that was the only theater in Saint Louis that was showing this movie. I must say that it was very enlightening and in my opinion paralleled my experiences while working in Wellston.
I don't want to give the movie away so I will just say that there is only one more thing that I wish the director would have highlighted more in his documentary. I wish he would have put more focus into why School Districts hire corrupt/questionable administrators that hire the teachers who fail to teach our children. It amazes me from what I hear from colleugues the track records that some of the administrators have and wonder how they were ever able to be rehired.
Yet unfortunately to me it comes down to the GOOD OLE CLUB. The era of those that have been in the system for such a long time, their connections are so embedded in the system that its easier for them to find jobs even though they don't deserve them compared to those who are not as established yet and are trying to make a difference.